Don't Be Afraid of Failure

 

I think if I don't fail, or get rejected in life, I really am not putting myself out there enough.
 
Fear is learnt. When you are born, you learn fear to protect yourself e.g. from a burning hot pan... however you might also learn a fear of trying new things, or may develop a fear that hampers you from achieving your goals.

Quite often, even without realising it, we also avoid discomfort, that might stem from a fear of failure, or fear of not being good enough.
 

In tackling this:

Understand Fear

In understanding my fear, either through thinking it through, writing it down or even through reading widely, I can understand further where the fear is coming from. Understanding it fully, and rationalising it helps diminish the fear in my mind.

Help Change your Mindset

For example, grasping those uncomfortable feelings with both hands, and instead of recognising it as fear, re-frame it more positively, such as an exciting new experience from which you can learn so much. Look up case studies from those who have risen from adversity, of which there are many, many, stories e.g. JK Rowling on getting Harry Potter published.

Take Baby Steps
Think how overwhelming a problem may seem if looked at as one whole big problem, that scares you so very much, that you may try and shove under the carpet as you have no idea where to start. However, if you see a problem as many mini steps, making the first action a very easy small step, then you will have momentum on your side and continuing will be much easier. For example, a "career change" is one big word and move.

However it becomes much more manageable by assessing in the following way - Day 1: Find a jobs website with a list of every job that ever existed on it. Day 2: Select 3 jobs you like the look of, and for the first 1 find the necessary experience and qualifications for this job. Day 3: Begin researching qualification providers. In this example this may not be the best way to undertake a career change, however it does demonstrate how simple little steps towards a big goal can provide progress and be much more likely to result in success

Ultimately you know yourself best and know how you've achieved goals in the past, and can employ these similar techniques in future. Remember that your fear is self imposed, created in the mind, and therefore can also be overcome in the mind.
 
 
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) American columnist, lecturer and humanitarian.

How to Make A Career Change | Part III - Taking Action

This is the third and final part of my insights on how to make a career change. The first two articles focussed more on decision making - whether a career change is right and also what you can consider changing to. This part will stress the HOW more, so you can slowly begin to enjoy work life more and begin the flow/start the transition to create the career and life you love. Much of it is practical suggestions on how to get moving. But first, one of the most important points is to BE CONFIDENT and AWARE of your MINDSET.

 

Confidence & Mindset

- " If the mind can believe it the body can achieve it?" - good little rhyme!  Taking action and making positive changes in your life begins with a healthy mindset, self belief and determination.

- Foster a steeley determination to do what it takes to live your dream life, and ability to overcome fear and discomfort to live your full potential  and make the most of this beautiful life we have been given!

- There are so many amazing resources out there that can help you increase your confidence and have a more "I can achieve" mindset.

Practical Considerations

INDUSTRY TRANSITION

The suggestions below help you gain experience whilst still in your current role.  Gaining experience in the field you wish to enter into will increase your opportunities to get paid for what you love to do.

• Expand responsibilities in current role - For example, when moving into HR from a finance/accountancy firm, I tried to get involved in the recruitment and new starter process in my old role. This experience gave me a discussion point for HR interviews, further understanding and relevant skills.
• Begin volunteering in the area you wish to go into. Think broadly for anything that may be able to assist you - there are so many opportunities out there once you start looking, researching, asking around. For example a friend of mine with no previous teaching experience began volunteering by tutoring disadvantaged school children, which would then allow her to privately tutor if she wanted to, and open up a whole host of new opportunities.
• Work experience - with dedication, networking and finding an excellent opportunity, you may be able to do an intensive period of work experience in the field you wish to enter - using your holiday allowance in your current role (or evenings/weekends!).
• Horizontal or downward movements in your current industry - is there a role in your current company/industry you may be able to move into, that you would enjoy much more? Is a secondment/work shadowing an option?
• Part-time qualifications in your field - personally I think experience counts for more than qualifications. That said, qualifications add credibility and give you confidence, and there are so many courses that can be done in evenings and weekends.

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

- The internet is amazing. You can make money on the internet in so many ways. Even better, you can build a fulfilling career in almost anything you want.

- Begin a side business and "portfolio career" by leveraging your skills for money, or begin selling your products (via etsy, ebay).

- Start small by doing small projects, e.g. Want to be a writer? Start writing anything. Want to be an artist? Start drawing! Want to be a personal trainer? Start training your friends, then start charging your clients.

ENABLERS

• Mindset - as per the above,  this is the most important tool when you're trying to accomplish ANYTHING in life. Can do and positive attitude. Also huge goals give you the inspiration to get going, gigantic goals are the best in my opinion.
• Money - much of what is discussed above is completely free, or can create money. I truly believe if you want something enough and it requires money, you put in the extra work to make that money. Don't use lack of money as an excuse - the development of the internet means so much information and opportunities are completely free
• Time - easy answer to this one > Stop watching TV. Stop mindlessly checking your phone or surfing the internet. Begin by finding a mere 10 minutes each week to invest in yourself and begin making the changes you want to make. This makes it as easy as possible.

In Conclusion

Hopefully you can utilise the aforementioned considerations whilst making the transition to a new role. I want to conclude by saying that I honestly believe success is inevitable if you never stop trying, congratulate yourself on every little step you make, and to just absolutely go for it and smash this life you've been given. Remember to appreciate where you are at the moment because what exists now is your life, whilst it may not be what you hoped (which is normal), life's joy is in the journey. The future is abstract and unpredictable - enjoy NOW.

How to Make A Career Change | Part 2 - Finding What You Love

There are so many situations that could warrant a career change, all stem from a desire that you could be happier.  When people decide their current circumstances are not satisfying them on the career front, they naturally look for other options that could satisfy them more. In our privileged world, there are so many options and choices, it can be paralysing to even know where to start.. this is insight on how to find what you'd love to do as a career.

1. SOURCE OF FULFILLMENT

- Really consider and write down what now in your current life gives you fulfilment. Consider the elements of your current job that you really enjoy and feel like you are thriving at. Also consider the education you're currently studying for and the hobbies that you partake in. What gives you the most pleasure and makes you feel like your life was not wasted today?

- Dig deep! Think about what you would do if you could have anything in the world, or what you would do if money was no consideration.. or what you want to achieve before you die. (Cast any lack of self belief or concerns of how you will get there at this point!)

- Think outside the box in terms of how these sources of fulfilment could translate into a new career path. For example; if you love the gym, but hate customer service, an online personal training business may be up your street. Or if you work in a supermarket and are more interested in the commercial/operational side of the business, working in finance at head office might be your thing.

- Furthermore, you can consider your interests - what TV, newspaper articles and conversations naturally draw your attention in? And consider what you really dislike doing... then consider the opposite. Asking trusted friends and family what they see as your strengths at what they think you might enjoy is also useful. Others' perspectives are great insights.. not more than your own gut though.

2. VALUES i.e. Know who you are.

In terms of find what you love, and finding your passions, I think it's also important to consider what your values are.. so your ideal career and life can be based around these.

What are your values? In the sense of what beliefs do you stand by? For example, someone who loves engineering and does not believe in gun ownership will not enjoy life as a firearms mechanic. Values may be based on faith, morals, financial stability, family/friends based or any other beliefs you hold. If your dream jobs is not in line with your values, then it may need tweaking slightly for you to be very fulfilled from it.

3. STRENGTHS

I am a believer in finding a way to make something happen, should you want it enough. When unexpected opportunities present themselves, just go for it, then find a way to make it work.

Also if you have a huge passion for something, hours of preparation and practice will make you good. Getting good at something, and committing dedication to it is amazing self improvement, and gives you something to show for your life.

Following your natural strengths will make things easier, but ultimately a mindset of dedication and self belief if far more important. Lack of being good at something is no reason not to start.. and you'll probably find that working on ways to increase your confidence is probably a better place to start!

In conclusion - think & take action.

Really considering all the above, and writing down your answers should give you more of an idea of your likes and dislikes, and the type of work you would like to do.

The internet is an amazing resource! There are so many people making money from all sorts of hobbies and passions.

Selling your services, or selling goods you have made has never been easier. If you are considering this route, focus on how you can solve a problem for people.

The internet is an amazing tool to research companies and industries, as well as job roles. You can also use linked-in to see what roles people are already doing in these companies - or even ring companies up to find out more! At this stage you've really got nothing to lose, and it's important to gather all information to assess this when making your decision of career direction.

You've only got one conscious* life, so go out there and enjoy it!

*The other day I told my colleague she's only got this one life so there's no need to wait for motivation, she needs to create the motivation. She responded - how do you know there's only one life? I've hence edited this to say only one life I'm conscious  of currently!

How to Make A Career Change | Part I - Should I quit my job?

This is the first part of my insights and observations on how to make a career change from one industry to another. I'm going to cover from making the decision, to deciding what industry/roles are right for you, right to how to succeed in the change.

My Story:

As you can see from my previous posts, I recently left one of the big 4 accountancy firms where I was a graduate trainee accountant. I successfully made a career move to Human Resources and can honestly say I love my job, it is a much better fit for me and I no longer get the "Sunday night" feeling that I had every working night when I was an accountant. Having invested so much time, perspiration and money in my education, from secondary school to studying Economics at University, to obtaining what my social circles regarded as one of the best graduate roles around, it was so difficult deciding to leave. This decision was compounded by the fact I'd invested 1.5 years into the scheme that would have been complete in 3 years, and after completion I'd be a qualified accountant, able to see a salary of £40k ish a year at 24 years old and economic stability for the future - not bad?

Reading back over what I have just written it feels like a no-brainer, I was still young (still am, I hope!) and hadn't had that much career experience, so starting afresh doesn't look like too much of a biggie.. however, so much was invested in me (mainly by my family), and I was so lucky in obtaining a great education, I felt I needed to, and wanted so much to make a success of my career so I desperately wanted to stick out the graduate role. There are people out there who have been in careers for much longer and are far wiser than myself who have made the change successfully, so my feat pales in comparison. However every experience to each person is relative to what they have already experienced, so to my short career, this was the biggest decision ever!

What is success for you?

Some of the most helpful careers advice I found was.. imagine your life in 5, or 10 years time. What would you like it to look like? What would success mean to you in those 5 or 10 years? And really consider whether your current role could bring this for you.

In time I found that I can create my own definition of success, as can we all. Success for me is having a career and life that I love, where I am contributing positively to the world, and sharing amazing experiences with people that I love. I know success for some of my friends is their monetary/career achievements, success for others may be in raising a family, or sporting achievements. It's taken time for me to realise that and also to appreciate how great it is that as humans we are lucky enough to even have these choices!

In defining my own success, I eventually realised that accountancy role was not success for me.. and the below are all considerations I had when considering if staying in my current role was an option:

- LONG TERM: does the role help satisfy what you see as your purpose in life? Could you contribute more to the world/your own happiness in another job? If this role does fit in to your long term plan, it may be worth harbouring the short term discomfort for a long term gain.

- If today was your last day in the world, would you be content with what you did today? (Good Steve Jobs quote..) Consider this post on making decisions for more than this.

If this role does not fit in to your long term plan, and you serious consider leaving, then move on to Part II - how to decide what career to move to, and practicalities of moving.

If this role fulfils your long term purpose and you do decide to stay, then the following tips may help increase your fulfilment in the short term:

• Consider volunteering for (shock horror) more work! I found volunteering for events such as recruitment events, meeting new joiners and making myself have a large role in coaching these, getting involved in diversity events, joining in with sports teams and the women's group, and charity events all really helped me enjoy the role much more. All these were organised in work time, so sending and receiving emails about these thoroughly brightened my work day. They have the added benefits of being relevant to my career move (I moved to a recruitment specialism of HR, therefore could talk about big 4 recruitment in my interviews for a HR role.. this can also be applied to your situation, I'll give more examples in the next post)

• Work out exactly what it is that makes you dread work. For example, is it a specific project/colleague/client or the general atmosphere of your work environment? If it is changeable and will have a large impact on your fulfilment, try your best to change it. If it is not changeable, then do your best to stay positive and think what you could learn from each situation. Difficult colleagues are everywhere (more prevalent in some workplaces, so you may be unlucky!) therefore see it as a great way to develop your people skills and patience. If the atmosphere may be different at a bigger or smaller company in your industry, consider making that move.

• Also consider secondments/horizontal movement at your current company if possible. I would advise not shouting about your lack of contentment in your current role (it may be obvious to those who know you well, so I'd advise not taking too long over your decision to leave!), but being really open and positive about ALL opportunities and your company will stand you in good stead.

Remember - so many people become used to mediocrity and do not push their own boundaries or comfort zone, for fear of the unknown. Make the jump and push your boundaries - life is what you make it!

Want vs Should

As a natural part of growing up, I think it's common to question how your experiences thus far in life have led you to the thoughts and beliefs you currently have, or have had.

In this case, I mean how my upbringing has affected the way I look at my career, goals and what I want out of life. Recently me and my friends from secondary school have been discussing the want vs should debate, that is - am I doing what I want to do, or am I doing what I feel like I should do?

Up until the past year, so the first 22 years of my life, I've been following a career path I thought I "should" follow, rather than one I want to follow. At this age for me it's really important to re-learn that it's okay to do what I want, and instead follow what really matters to me.

I'm applying this purely to careers, not to morality.. i.e. I'm not going to start pushing old ladies out of my way in the supermarket because I want something faster.. (and my biggest "wants" and fulfillment definitely don't come from doing immoral things like that haha)

I do want to note that this is assuming that I have the choice of any career path I want, assuming it will pay enough for a roof and food. I also need to be aware that I am incredibly lucky to even have this choice. Sometimes the fact that there is so much choice is paralysing, but I am very privileged to even be paralysed by it!

What's holding me back?

Fear of judgement: As humans, we naturally want everyone to like us and seek approval for what we are doing. Though I've learnt the hard way that doing what others value doesn't always make you happy! Fear of judgement for me gets less and less as I get older and I'm hoping eventually, with me working on it, it will decrease significantly.

Confidence: Am I doing what I think I can get, as I may not have the self belief to think I can get better? The fear of failure and fear of not being good enough is the root of so many abandoned dreams. Fear in general is the source of procrastination I think.. when you dig deep that is!

Emotions: I'm trying to make less emotional decisions I think you can't always trust your feelings, don't know about you but mine change pretty often. At the same time, your gut is a great decision maker so I'm trying to get the balance right!

I'm trying to work on all the above to have even more fulfillment in my career/life.

Leaving the Big 4 Early / Pre-Qualifying / Quitting Your Graduate Scheme

Once upon a time, I was a trainee accountant on the graduate scheme of one of the Big4 firms. After  a short time there I knew that it wasn't the job for me, and I handed my notice in after roughly 1 and a half years into my training contract.

This post is practical advice and considerations that I wish I knew whilst making the decision, such as - Will I have to pay back my ACA/other exam tuition fees? How do I decide to leave/go about leaving? What are the options?

1. Future career prospects

With Big4 on your CV you'll easily get another job - finance recruiters will offer positions at smaller accountancy practices or analyst/similar level positions. You may take a slight pay cut to also consider similar industries such as consulting, or finance, if you don't move into industry pre-qualifying, industry is still a possible option. You may mind the culture but want more challenging work content. 

If you can stick it out until you've got another graduate job in the bag that'd be ideal, having a plan makes everything so much easier.

Ultimately think about what you want out of life in 5/10 years and work back to decide if the Big 4 is the best way to getting you there, or if there's another route which could be faster and more fulfilling. If accountancy is where you want to be eventually, maybe it is worth staying for 3 years.. 3 years compared to the entirety of your working life is very little.

If you aren't sure what you want to do with your career/life, then consider what you LOVE to do. Think about what feeds your soul, and what work you can't NOT DO? What would you do if today was your last day to live? The big questions!

If you're still struggling, consider the elements of the job that you do enjoy, and how these could be transferred over to other jobs. For example, if you enjoyed the operational side of the role, maybe consultancy could be a consideration. Or if you enjoy management, retail clients and being in control, maybe a retail management graduate scheme? These ideas can be applied to many elements, so think hard and write these down.

Concerned about throwing away the ACA? Once you've done the first 6 exams (Certificate Level), you can get a Certificate in Accountancy, Finance and Business from the ICAEW so you definitely have something to show for these. In the real life workplace, experience is valued more than qualifications.

2. Finances - EXAM FEES

Many unqualified/part qualified trainees are worried about the financial burden of leaving. Personally I have not been asked to pay back tuition fees, and had no money taken off my last pay packet in relation to this, and it wasn't mentioned at all when I left.

Word of caution - they are able to take money out of your final pay packet if it's oweing. Also be prepared to be aware of impact on future jobs, particularly in finance, if you have an outstanding loan to a previous employer! And unfortunately at the end of the day, it's a contract that you sign in good faith and knowledge of what you're signing up to. Thus, having a future plan and savings is key.

That being said, the training contract element stipulating necessary payback. not to include a clause in the training contract to the effect of a lack of payback, this contract may not be legally enforceable. Also, the ICAEW advises employers not to include a payback clause in the contract as a court of law could rule that it restricts students changing employer. (https://apps.icaew.com/index.cfm/route/147279/icaew_ga/en/Employers/Training_contracts/Preparing_a_training_contract/Preparing_a_training_contract)

Furthermore, if you are asked to pay & refused, the only options for the firm are to try and settle informally, or to take you to court. At court, it would firstly be very reputationally damaging for them, but secondly, because your pre-qualifying salary is rather low, the court would most likely rule back that you only have to pay a small amount back each month, thus is not worth it for a huge Big4 firm to persue.

On a separate note, direct loans for season tickets, general etc must be paid back, as there is no leeway on this. There may be flexibility on payback timelines and interest free etc so I'd advise talking to the payroll dept if this is a concern.

3. Office Niggles/Playing The Game

The fact almost everyone dislikes certain departments (e.g. Audit!) is well known. However it's so important to make sure people have no idea you want to leave (except those you can really trust). Being positive, getting all your work done and keeping your head down ensures you maximise job satisfaction, be someone your colleagues love to have around and this gets you better reputation and feedback, this expanding your opportunities.

In terms of options, if another service line interests you, try and get a transfer/secondment, and seek out opportunities! You have nothing to lose if it's between that and leaving! You may also be able to finish your qualification. Your line manager should be able to facilitate this (they usually like saying no but again, you have nothing to lose.) Use being a great worker and having other options (outside Big4) as leverage. Or email a senior colleague / partner who has been open about wanting to aid in career development of staff and ask for a shadow day/cup of coffee, even if you don't know them - most are happy to help 1. because they're decent humans, and 2. usually it is in their yearly goals to do so. This may lead to bigger opportunities like longer term secondments.

Also if you are really ready to leave, consider what CAN be changed or fixed - for example particular clients that are dragging you down for whatever reason - and do what you can to alter this, again  whilst being as positive as you can.

The most important thing is having a plan and savings. Luckily senior management are so desperate for staff and so aware that general trainee mood is low, that you can stay in there as long as you can bear, giving you time to make the plan.

Conclude

Every job has its ups and downs, and the graduate scheme is incredibly intensive compared to the majority of jobs, so it can become a way of life.. and really drag you down more than most. For me personally it was a decision I agonised about for a while, and needless to say that when I left it was a solid & effective career decision.

Life can be more than this - step into the beautiful world, jobs market and explore! Or if you love your office and the people in it and it complements your life goals, then stay. I am slightly bias as the job wasn't for me, but I want to re-iterate that it could be for you, and therefore don't take the decision lightly.

Ultimately the most important point is making this decision, whether to stay OR go, it is a brave decision whatever you decide. Instead of pretending there's not a problem and coasting through life, facing up to life's challenges and finding solutions leads to satisfaction and happiness. Best of luck!

If you find this and have any further queries about anything feel free to get in touch.

How to Stop Crying When You Don't Want To Cry

In heightened emotional stress it is a natural reaction of your body to produce tears.. I myself have felt the urge to cry in difficult situations, where I wouldn't want myself crying, for example at work when I have the rest of the day to stay in work and crying wouldn't help me focus, or in big important meetings where I worry crying may be seen as weak. (crying is NOT weak in my opinion, it's a natural reaction.)

Crying is defined as the secretion of tears from the  lacrimal gland (eye gland).  Scientifically there are a couple of theories for why we cry, although a set reason has not been agreed. Suggestions are that crying is a non-verbal communicator to others so they instinctively behave in a more caring way to us, another suggestion is that crying is simply a natural reaction to events. It's also been suggested crying and "letting it out" makes you feel better, however this may just be an association we've mistakenly learnt if we cry, and then deal with a problem. Wherby it would be the dealing with the problem that made the situation better, but we've unconsciously made the association that crying made the situation better.

 (this research is from Wikipedia so, whilst it is more reliable than solely my brain, take of it what you will!)

Therefore below are tried and tested methods for me to record that have helped me on my way to crying less...

1. BEFORE TEARS FORM;

When you feel yourself wanting to cry, well before any tears form, excuse yourself so you can be alone and deal with this, if you do not want to cry. Get a drink of water to slowly sip and go to a quiet place you won't be disturbed e.g. your car, an empty/disabled toilet.

Then, STOP THINKING about what is making you cry. Once you've quickly identified the cause of the upset (do not dwell on this to avoid getting further upset) replace any negative thoughts with "it will all be okay".

You may rationalise this by comparing your life to that of people much worse off than you, to put the upset into perspective.

Once you have replaced negative thoughts, you should then immerse yourself in a new task to ensure your mind stays off the upset. For example, working, writing, playing sports, gym, a hobby where concentration is required.

This will then buy you a few hours until you can get to a quiet place to solve the problem and therefore get to the root cause.

IF YOU FEEL TEARS FORMING;

Physical movements such as the below can help your brain stay focussed on something else therefore avoid sending a signal to your eyes to cry...

• Blinking
• Crossing Eyes
• Doing maths puzzles in your head
• Heightening your eyebrows
• Gulping deeply
• Causing minor physical pain e.g. tiny skin pinch briefly, as a brain distraction only.

IF YOU ARE ALREADY CRYING;

At this point, past the point of no return, I like to lean on others for support. A problem shared is a problem halved, and those you trust can be an amazing support during this time. Via phone or in person, or even on the internet, there is always someone who cares about you.

Then, use the first tip - stop thinking about what makes you cry and absorb yourself in something else, to recover. And then at a better time, determine a solution to the cause of your tears - and a solution may not ever occur, and you may have to live with the upset.. however time and love helps healing.

IN CONCLUSION

It may be good for you to let it out, it may also be good for you to not be by yourself. As you learn yourself and develop self awareness you will find out what actions work best for you to get the behavior you desire from yourself.

We all have up and down days, and it can be difficult to stay happy when things aren't going as you'd like in life. Remember to be kind to yourself, and know that you can only control your own actions, not anyone or anything elses'.